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Fucker

Dec. 15th, 2006 | 04:02 pm

I am fucking sick of all of this bullshit and how I've been put through it all.. thats right i'm fucking sick of it. I'm glad the joke was on me and even though it was all a game, the game is fucking over now.
game over.
the end.
hahaha danielle you fool.


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You know..

Nov. 17th, 2006 | 10:30 pm

it's really kind of funny. I did this little artsy type thing tonight.. kind of just started thinking who am I really? How do you really find out, and I came up with this.. which I'm going to post on here. The funny thing about it is.. well, isn't it just kinda funny how easy it is to post something on here when you know no one you know in person is going to see it? How much easier it is to just type something to someone than say something to their face about it? Isn't it just insane how much a person gives away freely online?

Well, here .. enjoy, I ripped my heart and soul for this one..

Who am I?Collapse )

You tell me.

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I hate

Nov. 14th, 2006 | 11:06 pm

Feeling like shit, I seriously think I am in depression, serious depression.. wtf is up with my mood changes and why am i so unhappy?
someone tell me that..

& this is how busy my schedule will be for next semester, i'm probably going to fail and then just drop out, forget it.. who cares about making anyone proud, right?


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


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(no subject)

Nov. 10th, 2006 | 11:02 am

"Don't wave to that douche."

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I hateeee this

Nov. 9th, 2006 | 09:52 pm
mood: gloomygloomy

Okay .. so I’m going to update even though I know that it probably won’t make too much sense due to the fact that I never update.
Get this, my history teacher is such a sucker.. I can’t stand her, man. I’m failing history. It’s because of the way the lady is teaching.. she literally lectures us for an hour and a half, and then we have a 10 minute break and she makes us watch a movie.. and while we’re not in class we’re supposed to read chapters that are like 50 pages long each.. it sucks. But by the way, she doesn’t ever write notes on the board. Anyways, shes on a cruise to England right now (I’m jealous) and she couldn’t just say “You don’t have class this Thursday” it’s more.. “Go to the library and watch an hr long movie” which is better than a 3hr class but still, bitchass couldn’t less us have it off.. argh .. anyways, so here I am, going to that class.. and then when I get back I’m going to go downstairs and read a chapter (50 somethin’ pages) and then I’ll continue this update when I am done.. sucka.
So.. I’m worried about this college shit, seriously.. like, I’m doing okay in the majority of my classes, but at the same time I’m not.. like, I’m doing really good in Animal Science, for chemistry LAB I have an A, for my chemistry class I have a C (which isn’t too bad), my English class has an “S” which is good because it’s either that or U.. but the S is the good one, haha.. and then I have an F for history.. the thing with it all is.. I only have 12 credits, and 12 credits is fulltime, but if I have any lower credits then I’m screwed, and because I’m doing bad in history my teacher could decide to drop me.. and if she drops me then I’m dropped out of here.. which is rough, but if she just keeps me in and fails me, I’d still have a chance to retake the class in the future, and I wouldn’t be dropped out.. so yeah I’m hoping shes not a bitch and keeps me in there and gives me an F..
I got this awesome letter from one of my awesome friends named Chrisha FUCK today :) Even though it was like 5 letters unfinished I totally loved it and I really miss her.. especially talking to her. Infact, I miss so much shit right now. I have been staring at pictures of my animals, and I’m not even kidding you, I’d die to go home and see them. I know, it is ridiculous but the last time when I went home I nearly cried when I got home and hugged my dog. And then I was looking at pictures of Eechy and I put one as my desktop background and tears come to my eyes.. I miss them so much. I also, miss my family incredibly.. I miss everything about home, the whole.. city life, I’m so sick of country music and the country. I could cry right now.
I have had some great times here in the country SUNY Cobleskill, but I haven’t laughed as much as I did at Umass Amherst last weekend in a long while, especially not since the beginning of the semester here.. I miss Ali, I miss how she makes me feel. I love that when I was leaving here to go visit her it felt like I was going home, because guess what folks, she is a part of my home. I like the friends I’ve made here, but at the same time.. they’d never amount to what I already have had.. the friends I thought were real, like Meghan, haven’t turned out the way I had hoped, because.. you know what? Some people do change, and people like Meghan normally change for the worse.. and there you have it; the end of that friendship. I understand that wherever you go you’re going to get drama, but this high school shit has got to stop. I guess I should’ve thought about this kind of shit before I came here, obviously coming here with the biggest drama queen of Essex Aggie I was going to be fucking bombarded with some unnecessary shit.. but you know what? She can go fuck herself, I’m done with it and I’m so sick of this immature shit.
I got to talk to my Summer last night, I got to explain to her the whole drama shit that’s been going on.. hearing her voice and just being able to talk to her, totally made me realize how much I truly miss her. I really want to make sure that when I come home for thanksgiving vacation that I get to chill with her, I also want to hang out with the other people that I haven’t gotten to see in a while, like my little cousin Ashley.. and I’d like to be able to hang out with Dan, but he doesn’t seem too interested in even talking to me lately, so I don’t know what’s going on with him.
I seriously feel so depressed right now, and I don’t know why.. things are so upsetting, why am I never good enough for anyone? Why ?! Like, seriously.. why can’t I ever find someone and have them actually WANT to be with me? This is pissing me off extremely, can’t someone just fucking want to be with me? And want me for me and who I am?! I hate this shit, I hate feel depressed and ready to cry over this shit. I want to be okay with myself, but I hate seeing all of these couples together and how happy they are, I’m so sick of how all these guys around here have screwed me over.. I don’t know, I fucking can’t deal with it.
I’m gunna fucking go.. good fucking bye. :\

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Some random pictures.

Nov. 6th, 2006 | 06:10 pm

Pictures!Collapse )

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What I look for in a guy..

Oct. 23rd, 2006 | 11:01 pm

What I want in a guy...

-- I want a guy who will like me for who I am.
-- A guy who would not care about me being overweight or chubby.
-- A guy who will look past my imperfections and see them as my perfections.
-- A guy who is going to keep his eyes on me, and want them on me, even when a skinny barbie gorgeous girl walks by us.
-- A guy who will not want to have me change, and will want me to stay the way I am.
-- A guy who doesn't care about what other people think about the person he is walking down the street holding hands with.
-- A guy who will not pressure me into doing anything sexual.
-- A guy who will be alright with me not wanting to have sex, or rather waiting to have sex and waiting to do anything sexual in general.
-- Someone who will hear that I am having a rough time or I am upset about something and just come over to give me a hug, or ask if I want to take a walk, just to make me feel a little better.
-- Someone who is okay with just hanging out and watching a movie instead of hanging out and always doing something.
-- But also someone who wants to take me out and have a good time, like doing things such as; walks, taking a bunch of pictures, making memories, bowling, movies, mini golf, etc.
-- Someone who wants to bring me around their friends and family & isn't ashamed of me.
-- Someone who loves animals.
-- Someone who brings me a teddy bear / flowers randomly when I'm sad, just to make me smile.
-- Someone who will send me cute little text messages.
-- Someone who will randomly write me love letters.
-- Someone who would want to buy me/say the right things at the right time without any hints from me or my friends.
-- Someone who would say things that come from the heart.
-- Someone who wants to spend as much time with me as possible.
-- A guy who will think that majority of things I do is cute, whether they be non-attractive or attractive already.
-- I want someone who is going to appreciate the way I am beautiful and call me beautiful not ugly.
-- Someone who is going to make me their everything and I can make my everything in return.
-- Someone who will think of me all the time, right before they go to bed and will make me the first thing they think about when they wake up in the morning.
-- Someone who will start to miss me when they left me just an hour ago.
-- Someone who will give me a fair chance.
-- Someone who will take the right amount of time you need to make a relationship actually count.
-- Someone who isn't too big on sex drugs or alcohol.
-- Someone who will talk on the phone for hours with me and love every minute of it.
-- Someone who will love me for who I am and not for who they want to change me into.

I know that most of this is something I'll probably never find; which has been proven by the fact that I've found no one willing to even give me a fair chance. But, it's something I wrote while sitting down & thinking about what I'd like in a relationship. I know that a relationship this intense takes a while and thats my point.. I want a relationship thats worth waiting a while for. I want someone who I can love and be loved by, equally. I am not really against alcohol completely, and sex that much. don't get me wrong. Sex isn't for me, I'm waiting, obviously.. and alcohol is alright, as long as it's not all the time, because being drunk all the time is just simply ridiculous. Anyways, yep this is me pouring my heart out.. here you go, enjoy.

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Update HOMIE.

Oct. 18th, 2006 | 04:40 pm

So I felt like an update, even though I’m not bothering with whoever reads it; I basically only do it for one or two people, and if they don’t read it then who cares, I’m writing it for me I guess..
I have class at 1.. and its 12:30, so I leave at 12:45ish.. so I guess I should just write what I want to write. I posted a blog on myspace that includes pictures.. its of my fun night last weekend. Ali was supposed to come up, but she has tons of exams and papers this week, so she needed to use the past weekend to study. I can’t wait til she comes up though, tons of pictures then too.. it’ll be an incredibly fun weekend.
Okay.. so I had bought a beta fish and a cool tank, I also bought 2 frogs for it. My Beta’s name is Ralph, while my two frogs are Kermit and Kramit.. Kramit died the other day, way sad.. RIP Kramit.. :( Way way sad about it.. anyways how it happened.. well, I decided I wanted a better tank, and another fish to go in there with him.. I put another fish in there, and as the myth is.. Beta fish don’t get along with other fish. It’s really a 50/50 chance.. and it sucks, because at first my new fish (Pumpken) and Ralph were getting along really well, then I came back one day and Ralphs face was ripped apart, and I seen Pumpken beating up Ralph (Go figure!) and so I got a new bowl for Pumpken and that’s where he is.. Anyways, I shut off the light and then I found one morning that Kramit was upside down and dead :( I think that Ralph got pissed and killed him.. and hes been attacking at Kermit, so now I just put Kermit in the bowl with Pumpken.. hopefully they get along, I’m watching them as we speak.
Stacey also got a beta fish, I gave her my old tank, her fish is named Zane and then she also got one of the same other types of fish as me, its name is Neroli.. and Neroli’s tail got bitten off by Zane.. so now we have two bowls and two tanks in the room, haha.. I told Kermit if he and Pumpken don’t get along then I’ll buy him his own bowl, why the heck not, lol.
So apparently it’s really weird that I talk to them…? Lol, Like I say goodnight to them, and I say good morning, and goodbye when I’m leaving for somewhere, too.. I never thought it was that weird, but apparently it is.
Okay, so apparently a lot of guys are into the whole “chubby” look.. or “full figured” because a lot of guys are into me, calling me sexy and stuff.. but none of them are guys I’d like back, and if I’d like them back they never end up like making a move, its just like they think I’m sexy and hott, but don’t try anything with me..
Like this boy Jose, he’s attractive, and I actually go through stages where I think I’d date him, but I think he’s a player.. I think that he’d be flirting too much with other girls for my liking, and I don’t think he’s looking for a real relationship, I think its just like about the whole college stuff.. lets get laid and have some fun.
Then this other boy Rudy, who I’d never end up dating, because as he put it, he could like me, and would.. but he can’t.. theres some personal stuff I can’t really write about because it’s not my life to be writing about.. but yeah, that’s that.
Then, Brandon.. who by the way, if anyone really knows me.. knows I love the name Brandon. He’d be an amazing boyfriend, or atleast that’s how I thought by talking with him, and hes wicked cute, and chubby which is how I like my boys, but hes way too busy and he parties way too much, if he could show some interest in just hanging out with me, then maybe I’d go for it, but if not then.. whatever.. that’s his loss I guess. I just wish he’d call me and be like “Lets chill right now.” I danced with him at Country night last week a LOT.
Theres Eric, who is a no go anymore.. but I wanted to write to you about him. He’s pretty much a fucking fuck. :) No joke. He basically told me he’d be more into dating me if he didn’t go to bed with blue balls every night.. but whats dumb about it is the fact that I didn’t even make out with the boy, so it isn’t my fault at all that he’s got them.. I can’t help that I’m beautiful at times. :P Anyways, hes a fucking ass who tried insulting me saying that I’m a “prudeass virgin” owch.. that hurt! Haha.. I don’t care, I like how I am.. but this all happened because things were going really good with us and if we were to have a relationship it would’ve went well too except for the fact that he’s way too into partying and he was mad I wouldn’t party with him.. but hes very dramatic.. anyways, he got mad because I told him we’re too different and it wouldn’t work out, this is after he already asked me out and I told him to give me some time.. whatever, boys are so dumb.
I seriously don’t want to go to my chem. Class, but I really should.. I’ll tty all later..

Xoxox Danielle. :)

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Okay.. Update #2.

Sep. 29th, 2006 | 01:05 am

Oh man, I hate being a girl so much! I have been getting easily aggrivated in the last couple of days, I also wanted to cry last night. I was doing a lot of thinking and sortve down in the dumps as well. My stomache was cramping a little and I couldnt fall asleep at all, it sucked lots! Today my cramping had continued and hurt a lot worse -- made me hurt every damn time I had moved. I was saying that "Im either getting my period or Im having a baby! because this hurts SO much!"
I hate being all blah and thinking. Normally for me thinking = bad thing. I know its true that you can do anything you put your mind to, that you make life the way you want it to be. If you think life sucks, its because you make it that way. Life is what you make of it. I know I know, but it is so hard to believe in yourself when YOUR head is the one in the wrong state.
This period is going to suck real bad, I can tell you guys this & its only day one. My last period here sucked, but it wasnt painful. I find that when it is my time of the month and im here at college I get really homesick. Right now I would love to go home, you have no idea how much I want to see my pets & my family. Tomorrow is "Showcase Weekend." Which means, my mom, my brother, my stepdad and grandparents are coming up for the weekend. Im lucky for this & excited, I cant wait to see them.
Want to hear something weird about this period? I get hungry - food comes in my face & I lose my appetite, and I cant eat. It sucks, though its not a bad thing cause I could def. lose the weight. When I was at home I went to the gym a LOT. Now here I have only gone once -- next week I will start to go more ( I hope ) I need more motivation. Anyways - this means I am gaining my weight back that I lost, plus more probably - Im NOT happy with myself.
Right now I just feel like crawling into bed and watching Josh Hartnett movies. My english class is canceled for tomorrow and that is my only class for fridays, so I have tomorrow completely off.. all I have to do is my laundry before my family gets here & clean up my room. Other than that; I can stay up as late as I want & sleep in as late as I want. Awesome night to feel like crap eh? YOU BET!

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update #1.

Sep. 27th, 2006 | 10:18 am

Wow... lots has gone on that I have to inform you guys about, but theres no way that I’m going to be able to do that in one entry... or probably anytime soon.

To start off, I just need to rant about this RIGHT now. My freaking English class is a huge pain in my ass. Right now we have this dumbass assignment that we need to do. Basically we need to read a bunch of essays, but pick one and sign up for it, be an expert on it, present a report about it to the class, and then lead a whole class discussion on it. How much does that suck? LOTS since I hate doing any oral presentation things. Anyways, the class that we signed up for them I missed, therefore, I came in one day and had the last pick, which put me up to the top, but I didn’t know being at the top meant I was going first. Well… that’s what it means, there’s no way in hell I’m doing it first. I emailed my professor telling him that he needs to move me down because there’s no way that I’ll be able to handle it. :x

My classes have been insane, my advisor is so dumb. He put me in the high Chem Class and the high math class... how dumb is that? So of course, me being as dumb as I am, needs to switch out of them.. I switched into a different chem class… now I am in Chem 101. I dropped my math 111 course, and asked if I could get into Math 101... But the teacher was a dickhead so I’m going to need to take math another time. Now this leaves me with only 12 credits, so I hope I don’t fail anything, even though my history class sucks. My history teacher just talks and talks, she doesn’t involve anyone in class to join in these talks, and I basically learn nothing. It’s a 3 hour class once a week, and its at 6 pm to 9pm, how much does that suck? I’ll tell you.. LOTS!

Kk im napping now I’ll write more some other time!

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