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Oct. 2nd, 2007 | 06:56 pm

Okay.. quick little update to all of my livejournal friends. I made a new livejournal and I plan on actually updating it and keeping up with some other peoples journals as well.. so if you're interested it's http://savemykissesx.livejournal.com/ =] PLEASEEEEEEEEE add me ! & take the time to read my updates.. i loveee you guys!!

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(no subject)

Jun. 12th, 2007 | 02:06 pm

Okay, so I know I haven’t updated in a verrry long time, but it’s okay, its not like many people even read this, and I know I say that a lot, but I say it because I know its true.

So I have myself a boyfriend for now, and all I can say is lets see how long it lasts. It’s a pretty complicated relationship already and we fight lots, but I love being with him and I love the feelings I get, and fighting might keep it interesting, my problem with guys is that I get bored with them and dump them, so fighting might be the thing. It’s not like he makes me cry that much or hurts me at all, its more like we fight because we both misunderstand eachother a lot, we take everything the other one says the wrong way, so we’re working on it. We haven’t fought for a while, so that’s good. We’re basically 100% different, as well, which I think of as a bad thing, but I guess opposites attract. We’ve been seeing eachother since april 21st, but I made rules, saying that I find that I go wrong in relationships because I rush into them with guys and find out that I should’ve just been friends with them, so I’m trying something new. I decided to tell him that I wanted to wait a month being his friend, so he couldn’t kiss me or ask me out until a month had passed, we did really good.. and then I told him he had to wait til the beginning of the month before he asked me out because yeah.. and he asked me out on june 6th, but it’s just complicated, because technically we’ve been dating since april 21st.. so whatever, this is the first time this situation has happened in my life. There has been a lot of my firsts with him already, and yeah.. but that’s alright too.

I’ve been breaking out recently, which is wicked weird to me.. I used to be in highschool and never had any pimples, people used to say “wow Danielle your skin is SO clear” etc.. then since college I started breaking out, and its wicked annoying. I woke up the other morning with 3 new pimples, so I decided that I’m getting proactive. I’ve tried the Clearasil stuff and it isn’t working for me. So now I’m gunna have to try that.. we’ll see.

Work is still wicked stressful. And I want to go back to school… I need to but I don’t have any idea what I want to do..

Anyone have any suggestions on career paths? Good money in a fun field… ?! give me any ideas!

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Warning, wicked deeep..

Apr. 15th, 2007 | 12:12 am

isn’t it odd how things happen in life? How things turn out? It’s just so crazy because you wouldn’t always expect things to turn out how they do. One week you’re talking to this amazing guy, thinking, oh man.. I don’t have a chance with him, then the next week you’re in his basement making out with him, that night going home, all you could think about was “he likes me, he really likes me.” The next day you find out that you were basically a joke and didn’t mean anything to him, that he only liked you as a friend and obviously just got all caught up in the moment, not realizing the end result wouldn’t be pretty. It’s also funny how you can’t just seem to toss feelings aside and be friends with someone, going from one extreme to the next isn’t easy for many people, except guys. Why is it so easy for guys to do that? Why is it sooo easy for guys to just toss girls to the side and be just cool with them in the end? I don’t get it, if you know the secret let me know. I think it’s funny how life works, like.. you’d do anything to be able to be good friends with this person, but you know that just seeing their sn on your buddy list gets you upset.. you check his profile a million times just to see how long its been since he’s been online and hasn’t IMed you, you sign on and off to see if that’ll make him IM you quicker, and he’s probably not even thinking of you. It’s funny how you can wish so much to just be able to ignore your feelings and be cool with someone, believe me, I’d love to be friends with you, and just friends, but I know, just seeing your face would bring me to tears, or shake me up inside, I can understand why you think I’m being ridiculous, because I know I am, I shouldn’t have fallen for you so fast, but at the same time, it was your fault, too. When someone tells you that they get more emotionally attached when they kiss someone, that’s a freakin’ hint, and at the time you clearly stated you understood it, but then went and did it anyways, that was an asshole move on you, when the very next day you decided there was shit about me that you didn’t wanna get mixed up with. What was that shit exactly? What was it that you seen in me and didn’t wanna deal with ? I don’t get it.. I tried to be the best that I could be, I really did, and I guess that’s all I could ever offer. I hate how life won’t let me stop thinking about you, theres not a day that you don’t cross my mind, and I want you out of it. I want you out of it so bad you have no idea. I hate that when I drive to work, because it’s the same way I’d take to your house, I think of you. I think of your fucking amazing smile, and how great you were with me and just.. every fucking thing about you. I hate all of that shit about you now. I hate how this morning I thought of you and that dumb song “Over you” by Kathrine McPhee came on, yes I dedicated it to you, but no, obviously I’m NOT over you, weird coincidence huh? I REALLY hate how you can’t seem to understand where I’m coming from at all, and I wish that you would want me like I want you, I wish that you liked me like I like you, I wish that you cared for me at all in the LEAST bit that you would’ve bothered to think before your actions, or even just taken a freaking risk, you don’t know how things would turn out, so don’t assume. I hate how I KNOW you won’t read this, and no one probably will. I hate that I keep going on and on, too.. but most of all, I HATE how I still want you badly.

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quick and painless..

Apr. 14th, 2007 | 11:58 pm

I’m the kind of girl who loves the little things in life. I like having someone to talk to on the phone late at night, and I miss that. I feel retarded for writing right now because I doubt it’s worth it in the end, it won’t help me out and I’m wasting time because no one listens/reads. I just have no one to talk to at the moment, and that’s the suckiest feeling in the world. I have no friends, no one bothers anymore, It’s like the ones I do have don’t care enough to even try making plans with me, and I am always the one putting the effort forth in order to make plans with them, and I hate that, I like to feel wanted too.. I’m thinking I need new friends, really bad, but it’s so hard for me to make new friends because.. I’m just here. :\ myspace is my way of making friends, and that doesn’t even work out for me anymore. Argh.

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This is because I spell confusion with a K..

Mar. 2nd, 2007 | 07:59 pm

Hey guys!

I’m kind of in the mood for a little bit of an update as of RIGHT now, so we’ll see where this leads to.

Boys are dumb, I really would like a relationship, but at the same time I’m not settling for just anybody.. I am getting kind of lonely though, who am I kidding? I am WICKED lonely, but what can I do but keep myself busy and move onnn.. these guys that I’m finding aren’t doing me any good, so hopefully with me not worrying about it there will be a few good ones that find me. I think once I go back to school I’ll have a better chance, and even if not.. it’s going to give me something else to keep my mind on. :P

I’ve been waking up at a more decent time lately, but never have anything to do because I’m just THAT lame, so I was thinking of getting a second job for the mornings until I go back to school in the fall. That’s all the way in August or September, so I’ll have plenty of time to work. I can work from 7am to 1pm every day except Saturday, I work my other job 3pm to 8pm every Monday Tuesday Thursday and Friday 7am to 12pmish on Saturday and then 6pm – 7pmish on Sundays.. so I can fit in a lot more hours at another place. I informed my boss about it and she kinda like seemed aggravated about it, because she was like “What if I need you in the morning” I said to her, “well, I’m not on-call.” Haha.. she didn’t seem to like that too much. I have to finish up my application for this place that’s called “Best friends” which is like a boarding, grooming, etc place.. It’s going to be fun. I’m gunna be stopping by the place with my application tomorrow around 5 and talking to the lady about it, it should be fun, I’m not that nervous because I have my job that I have right now, so I don’t need it horribly, but it’ll be fun. & Hopefully I’ll get it.

I’ve been so stressed about so much shit lately, it’s not even funny. I feel like choking myself. The end.

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(no subject)

Feb. 8th, 2007 | 01:03 pm

Work – Before went to college I used to work two shifts every day, I’d work the morning shift and the night shift but when I was leaving for college my boss realized how screwed they were going to be without me, so.. I tried to help them find someone to “take my place.” The most I could do was find Tiffany, and she could only work the night hours. I don’t think anyone could’ve fully done what I was doing there, it was the most overworked feeling I had ever felt. Anyways, it was a complete mistake right from the start, I of course was the one that had to train the girl, and she gave me the most issues, she didn’t like the fact that I was “watching over her shoulder” or “bossing her around” or “telling her not to take a break and get back to work.” 1) I was training her so I am supposed to be watching what she is doing. 2) Bossing her around? I wasn’t bossing her around, I was telling her the way things are done and what needs to be done in what order, because I was training her! And the things I told her, like when she did something wrong, I told her how to do it right or what I would do, and she would always get so pissed, but I had to like remind her to take it as constructive criticism not a personal attack. 3) she would stand around and do nothing for like 10 minutes all the time, and it pissed me off, because we don’t get breaks at my job, so I’d tell her to get back to work, and then she would tell me “im not like you, im not the go-go-go type.” And I would just tell her that you have to be when you work here and if you can’t do that then youre in the wrong field. Anyways, no one likes her and the way she works because she doesn’t do anything, when I got back they cut her hours hoping she’d quit but she hasn’t and she works with me on Monday, Tuesday and Fridays and she does NOTHING the whole time. She’ll stand around with the technicians and forget where shes supposed to be. I don’t want to rant that much because you guys might find it all petty but to me its annoying and disrespectful. When you take a dog out of the cage and give it back to its owner and you leave the cage dirty for the other kennel person to clean it instead of cleaning it yourself when it IS your job, that’s just wrong. I don’t know.. I want her to get fired or quit, Im sick of it, and I’m sick of how she thinks shes my best friend, too.. I can’t stand her!

Boys -- Lets just say.. I’m so stupid when it comes to boys lately. The last 7 guys I’ve been with or gotten involved with have fucked me over because they’re just not looking for a relationship.. or they thought they were but then realized something else in their life is a bit more important. When I was in college, of course I could understand that shit because it’s college, who would be looking for a real relationship in college? But of course after I got fucked over by the kid Mike at college, I wasn’t looking for guys to distract me, I was going to focus on doing school and working like crazy but (lets call him.. Chad) Chad had added me and sent me some messages, and I liked him from the start, it was like we had some kind of understanding for eachother, he is wicked attractive and such a sweet guy. We had made plans to chill and we did hang out, and it went wicked well, we had connected on such an awesome level, and everything just seemed to keep going well everytime we hung out. Chad invited me to go and help him babysit his little nieces and we spent the whole day together, and it was just amazing.. seeing boys with little kids is just so adorable, I love seeing guys with kids. Anyways, we spent the night together too, I didn’t even go home until 6am, it was the best night me and him had. We ended up kissing and whatever else had happened, happened.. nothing too much at all, but of course before that we had this long conversation and it was just the perfect night. I felt so awesome just being able to sit there and have a conversation like that, and I had told him that kissing someone makes me a little bit more emotionally attached to someone, and then we ended up kissing, and the next day it was excuses like, “I can’t be in a relationship, it’s nothing you’ve done it’s just how I realize I am when I am in a relationship, and I need to concentrate on finding myself a job, I’m wicked stressed and running out of money.” Etc. Whatever, so I thought of waiting for him because I liked him that much, and we hung out a few times after this whole shit had happened as just friends, and every single minute of those hang outs I wanted to be either hugging him or kissing him, but I knew that I couldn’t and I didn’t say anything to him about it either because its just inappropriate. Whatever, but just recently he like stopped hanging out with me or talking to me at all and I don’t know, it sucks and its hard for me to accept it, but I have no choice, oh well right? It’s so hard to accept that he didn’t want to be with me, even though he said he did, you don’t go and lead someone on like that and expect things to just be all fine and dandy and able to be “just friends” with someone like that. I don’t know.. I’m sorry I cared so much, It definitely sucked that I spent days crying about him and he didn’t even give a shit.

Meh.. why do I get myself in these kinds of situations?

There is this other guy who is talking to me from myspace, and he’s from Amesbury which is the next town over. He seems really nice and so far we’ve clicked very well, I like everything so far, except some negatives are… he doesn’t have a job, (he plays music and wants to be a rockstar!) he doesn’t have his license, therefore he doesn’t find a need for a car, and he smokes pot, but I think I wanna maybe give him a shot, I don’t know.. I mean, I’m scared to meet him because I don’t even know what he looks like, so I’m waiting to see what he looks like, and hopefully hes cute.. and hopefully im attracted to him. I know I went through this before I got to college with Steve.. so yeah. :\ oh man.

this is long enough

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Make damn sure..

Dec. 25th, 2006 | 11:00 pm

I’ve got to say the best movie that I’ve seen besides American History X is Man On Fire, and of course.. Disney movies, but those are in a whole other category.

I also have to say that I haven’t updated a real update in a while, so I guess I owe it to anyone who feels like reading.. even though many people don’t comment useful shit, I have a lot on my mind.. so this is going to be a nice one I think.. if I can bring myself to do it, haha.

Basically, when I moved home from college my mom bought me a new desk and a new computer desk, and I like them very much, but those were my main Christmas gifts. I also got a game called Crazy Taxi for PS2.. and she got my tetris game from online because we couldn’t find it anywhere, and I used to have it but my cousin fucking thieved it. She also got me a Mario game for my Nintendo ds, I also got the movie Man On Fire.. my mom searched everywhere for that too, I didn’t know things were so hard to find around Christmas, haha.. and of course she got us our normal stocking stuff, like.. shaving cream, razors, toothbrush, toothpaste, candy..etc. speaking of, I’d like some. :D

I’m kind of fed up with the way everything has been going on lately, to be honest. I need to make some new friends, and I’m so sick of saying that I’m up for it and stuff but then I’m actually too shy to go out and attempt at the first step.

Number one thing on my mind at the moment – FRIENDS. One friend in particular is pissing me off completely, and I’m not sure if she’s going to come across this and be all pissed off at me, but I really don’t care at the moment. Ever since I left for college I have been trying to make plans with her for when I came back on vacations, I’d make some plans for days, etc.. and she’d always come up with some dumb excuse. Most of the time it’s working, but when I’m around and can hang out with her before or after work, what is her excuse then? You tell me.. what excuse is left? I don’t know but it’s never an option apparently. It pisses me off because I see that she is making plans with everyone else when I’m bothering to tell her straight out that I care and I miss her and I want to hang out with her.. she says the same shit to me but never acts on the fucking words. The sad thing about it is, she doesn’t have to do shit, I have to drive to her house to hang out, or go pick her up, etc.. so what the fuck.. seriously. Today she had a bulliten on myspace saying something was wrong, so I bothered to ask her what had happened, did I get a respond? Fuck no I didn’t. I asked her a while ago if she’d go to a concert with me in March or April.. how far away is that! And shes like “I’ve got no money, I’m broke” yet.. she works all the time, and its far away.. you tell me.. fucking excuses. It sucks because I hate putting all my effort for shit that shouldn’t be this fucking hard. Is it that hard to be a friend now a days? You tell me.

I have also been trying to hang out with old friends from high school, but with some there is too much drama in the past, or atleast with one, or two. & I’m not sure how in the end it’s going to be.. I hate that I worry about what other people think about the people I hang out with.. I shouldn’t ever be like that, but sadly I am.. same as with what people think about me.. to an extent I don’t care about what others think, but then to another extent, I kinda do. I want plans to work out with people, but for some reason they never end up happening, and that’s what pisses me off.

I want a group of friends, like.. where we all get along and it’s a group, more than 2 of us.. and I mean, I could join in on some guys group I’ve been chatting with, and I’d probably have a really great time, they’re great people, but at the same time.. it’s hard for me to just join into something and actually do good in it, you know? But I guess that’s just me.

Stacey turned out to be a complete douche.. didn’t cry when I left, but cried when Meghan left? What the fuck is up with that? So much for “best roomies forever” etc.. lmao, I loved how she said I was all about Mike in the last week of me being there, when she didn’t bother to fucking voice it while I was there, did she? Whatever.. fuck it. It’s done and I may not be over the fact that it was as if she didn’t care when I was leaving, I’m getting there.. I realize who my true friends from Cobleskill are, and I’m glad I have them, that’s all that matters.

Leaving for college, and leaving college.. you learn so much about the people you think you know, it’s not even funny how much I’ve learned. I’m glad that I realized it how I had with Meghan, and definitely with the people from home.

You know who I miss a lot though? Jason.. he hasn’t talked to me in a long time, no texts, nothing.. and that blows, because he was my absolute best friend in the whole entire world.. and now it’s like.. he moved to PA and the end. The last I heard he was trying to make it there, trying to get a job, stay off of drugs and alcohol, save money and get his ass back here.. so we’ll see, right? I also want to hang out with Bekkah lots more.

I wish that I could just come out and be myself around people, screw what they think, etc. but I’m always too worried about what people think at times.. and maybe I just don’t know who I exactly am at the same time. Who the fuck is Danielle Gricci? Reminds me of what got me to write that little piece of art I did a while ago..

This is really long and I haven’t even talked about the majority of shit I wanted to talk about, so I feel kinda bad..

Basically, I talked to my brother about the whole job situation, and he told me that I can’t say yes to working on New years, because by saying yes I’m letting them walk all over me before I even START there again, and that’s just not a good thing, because when I worked there previously that’s all it was about. I told her no that I couldn’t, and she just told me that she had found someone else to work it and for me to call her after Christmas sometime.. I wonder how many hours I’m going to get, because if I’m not getting a lot it’d be neat to have a second job, until I start college up again. Which I’m thinking I’ll be doing in the fall.. next year.

The end.

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(no subject)

Dec. 21st, 2006 | 06:48 pm

I know I've been doing quick "pointless" updates lately.. but this one is really a big one on my mind that needs to be sorted out as quickly as possible.

Anyone who knows me knows I've been working at the animal hospital for a really really long time and sure I love it there because I get to work with animals, and I obviously care for animals.. and i definitely love the people there. but since I left for college and then now I'm back, I'm debating on whether or not to go back.. I didn't want to go back unless I would be doing exactly what I was doing before, and I thought that I wouldn't be doing what I was doing before since they've hired people to take over for me.. but my boss told me I'd be doing the same thing. Now the other thing that plays into this is the fact that I can never ever take a day off.. without a fuss from my boss.. and she emailed me asking me to cover some holiday shifts, i asked her which ones, she told me she really needs me on new years morning, but i wasn't planning on being AVAILABLE for new years morning because dude.. i'm fucking a college kid, I want to for ONCE go out and enjoy it.. so I told her I couldn't that I probably wouldnt be around for it, and she emails me trying to sucker me into it as usual.. what do I do?
This is the exact reason I wasn't sure about going back.. everytime it's always a big deal..
and I want to atleast have one weekend off a month because I'd like to go visit my coby friends.. and it sucks because i know i won't be going anywhere without a LOT of trouble.. wtf should I say and/or do?!

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A serious question for you guys..

Dec. 20th, 2006 | 07:05 pm

is it better to be really confident and cocky in yourself as in "I'm hotter than you are"
to lack self confidence and have low self esteem "i'm the ugliest there has been, i'm such a loser.. ugly bitch"
what is your opinion??

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(no subject)

Dec. 16th, 2006 | 12:24 am

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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